A few weeks ago, a few days after Christmas, both my husband and I felt somewhat peaky. A swell of nausea rose from our stomachs and we felt almost seasick. Was that final spoonful of trifle worth it? Did we have to eat seconds of almost everything? Was eating eight pigs in blankets on the trot just one too many? Or was this malaise caused by too much mulled wine swilling around inside our bloated bodies?
After a while, we both had a light-bulb moment. It could also be called a geriatric moment. We realised, simultaneously, that we were wearing each other’s glasses.
What a difference it made when we swapped back to our usual specs! The nausea and disorientation vanished. The floor no longer heaved in undulating waves beneath our feet. Blurry vision became clear and sharp. We could see!
It occurred to me that I have a habit of switching metaphorical glasses, depending on the situation I’m in. As we entered 2023, I realised I had a collection of various types of glasses through which to gaze at the year ahead.
My favourite go-to pair is edged in black and has a smoky filter. These are my “in fear-and-trepidation” glasses. It’s too darn scary to see things clearly! If I can’t see it, it won’t happen, is my thinking. So I shrink back inside my scaredy-cat soul and curl up, cat-like, ignoring the obvious challenges ahead.
Another pair has skew; crooked frames that rest uneasily on the bridge of my nose. I am constantly trying to pull them straight so I can see through both eyes at the same time. My view is limited view, and unless I hold them in place I feel out of control. So it is with looking into the year ahead. Just one month in, I already feel out of control! I need to hold everything in place, otherwise the worst will happen. I cannot and must not relax!
Then I have my party glasses! These are ridiculous spectacles, designed to draw attention. I wear them to show everyone I am happy. I am having fun! I am confident! I am the life and soul of the party! When I wear these party glasses, I hide from reality. They make a great mask. I cannot bear close scrutiny, of myself or of my plans for the future, so I act as if it is all okay – as if I am perfectly in control and everything is just dandy.
Lastly, I have my prescription glasses issued by Specsavers and bought at National Health prices. They are serviceable but not particularly trendy. If I want to go trendy, there are numerous designer glasses I could buy if I had the money. But either way, the prescription is the same and enables me to see clearly through cheap or expensive glasses frames. I have a sunlight filter added to the lenses – my only extravagance. These are my reality glasses. When I wear them I see clearly. They fit. They block out excess light. They are strong and durable. These are what I need to wear when I look into the year ahead.
I see challenges, and I fear they will knock me sideways. I see spots of joy, and these make me feel hope. I see the opportunities that will arise, and wonder if I am up to the task of 2023.
There are times I put my scaredy-cat glasses back on and hide under the duvet. It’s dark and safe and warm, and I feel no urge to emerge any time soon.
Today, I put on my skew ones and fiddled constantly with the frames, trying to achieve a sense of control over my life. I felt helpless and adrift in a sea of uncertainty. All I could see was worst case scenarios over which I had no control.
My party glasses lie in reserve, ready to be whipped out as people wish me a belated Happy New Year.
Kelly Oxford said, “I like how glasses suggest intelligence instead of broken eyes.” I might look for a new pair of glasses in the coming days, and if so I shall aim for the intelligent look. I’m not too confident that I will pull that off, but I’ll give it a try. At any rate, I shall move away from the broken and the skew and look into 2023 with a gaze that is steady and in focus.
But at the same time, I shall insist on glasses with a quirky, sparkly frame. It won’t change what I see through the lenses, but I will be ready to celebrate the good stuff when I see it!
What glasses are you wearing as you peer into 2023?